Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
