I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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