Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
