Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
