when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
