im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i came on her dog
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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