why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
