big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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