We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
