Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
