eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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