i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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