is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
