i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
