i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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