come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
