I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
