Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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