and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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