Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
