just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize