I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
