Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
