Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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