I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
