I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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