It was confusing and full of hummus
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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