He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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