I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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