no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize