very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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