i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
