she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
