it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
