I like my sex mixed with concussions.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We're too hungover to prance.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
