what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
