My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize