You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize