Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
