Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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