When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
