I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
