There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
