Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
