i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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