.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
