Just cropdusted the office
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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