Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
