I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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