When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
