I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
