3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
