She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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