When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
