She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
