Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
