We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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