Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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